Once again I don't surprise myself when not writing for a long while. Almost 4 months. Not bad, I have journals that I didn't write in for years.
So here's the short version of the past 4 months.
Didn't end up moving. Still waiting for my house to be foreclosed or if I'm lucky, I find a full time job that will get us into another place before the foreclosure happens. The summer flew by. My daughter attended EFY and struggled for the first few days but learned a lot from it. EFY is Especially for Youth. An LDS educational week for teens to get to know other teens with the same beliefs and learn more about Christ and his gospel. I went once as a teen and it was a life changing experience. I felt so close to members of my own church like I never had or have since. I have wanted my daughter to experience what I did but she didn't have the same outcome as myself. She did enjoy it at the end but has stated it wasn't a "big deal" really.
Is that code?
She sees her boyfriend everyday for the most part. They're inseparable. I got a surprise once watching a little too much making out on my couch. After my embarrassing outburst I'm sure I won't see that again. Hopefully. But I'm not stupid either. So I've set boundaries since. I want to give a bit to let them learn but have the leash to pull her back when needed too. I'm sure my sex lectures are being heard. This is because they get one weekly for the most part. I'm very very blatant about pregnancy and STD's and intimacy. I wasn't taught this.
I remember being sexually active and I hadn't heard one lecture from my parents about sex. Not 1. If a girl has her period or is at least 12 and can be taught in school about the body then the parents need to be the one to open the communication lines. Kids don't want to ask about sex. It's embarrassing and unfamiliar. Experimenting is all they have if they don't have a source to go that they trust will tell them the truth.
Anyways, their friendship and relationship has seemed positive.
My girl however is struggling deeply with Anxiety & Depression. I have the same problem. I suffer with this and have all my life. I'm medicated and still need to open up with my family, friends and physicians when feeling suicidal or "off". She has been seeing a counselor and is going to be seen shortly by a Psychiatrist. Hopefully the medication she receives will be beneficial.
Once school started a couple weeks ago I noticed how much she needs to get on meds. She's too brilliant to feel she's worthless and not good at multi-tasking like she used to be. I'll admit, the school is asking too much from all their students for 9th grade. But being that she signed up for these particular classes and thought she'd like them must mean she has an interest but can't seem to mentally cope yet with the responsibilities the classes require.
I don't think I cared at her age as much. She puts so much pressure on herself. No wonder kids these days are killing themselves. They feel they aren't matching up to what society is expecting from them. I see such amazing, smart and good kids fall into the wrong crowd, drugs or sexual promiscuity because they don't see an outlet for their stress. Parents have to be there for them. Inspire and guide our next generation. I pray I'm gonna be the best I can be as a parent and hope that god will do the rest.
Til next time......LOL